Episode 10: Breaking Down Behaviors of NPD with Dr. Les Carter

Today, the word “narcissist” is frequently thrown around and used within inappropriate contexts, such as a broad label for “toxic” individuals. How, then, do we differentiate between someone with unhealthy patterns and the manipulative behaviors of a person with NPD?  In this episode, Dr. Z talks with Dr. Les Carter, a clinical psychologist and founder of Surviving Narcissism, who provides deep insights into narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) including its specific cognitive processes and behaviors.  

The discussion highlights the critical differences between those who display narcissistic patterns due to upbringing and those with a true NPD, emphasizing that the latter rarely changes due to a lack of internal values and inability to self-reflect. However, despite the challenges of treating someone with narcissistic “traits,” Dr. Carter shares a rare success story of a family member who overcame their narcissistic tendencies through personal crisis and therapy.

Dr. Carter explains that while those with NPD often react defensively to being labeled, they do possess a level of awareness about their manipulative actions, often acting secretly and evasively. The episode also delves into the concept of “dark empathy,” where narcissists use their understanding of others’ emotions for manipulation rather than connection. Dr. Carter notes that true empathy is hard to cultivate in those with NPD, especially older individuals.